The cave I will (n)ever see – Everything that went wrong lately

There is a cave just 80 kilometers away from the place I am right now. I heard about it a year ago and have been wanting to go ever since. The universe, however, seems to do everything to make sure I will never see it.

My imagination of the Fraghthi cave 

My idea of the cave experience is like a dream. I will drive a winding mountain road with stunning views. This road will take me to an undiscovered beach, overlooking a small uninhabited island in a calm blue sea. I will swim and relax, to recover from the beautiful but tiring drive. Then, I’ll hike for 20 minutes along a rough coastline and enter the 40,000-year-old Fraghthi cave. I will let nature astonish me and wonder about the many people it has protected through centuries. When the sun starts going down, I will make my way back to the beach where I will sleep that night. When the sun wakes me up the next morning, I will enjoy an early swim and hit the road again.

The reality

On my first attempt to go, I suffered from a heat stroke in the closeby dolines of Didyma. I had to get out of the sun and returned to my apartment. Then, I put it on my list of places to visit this year. The previous month, however, I made about 6 attempts of visiting and did not succeed at any.

The first time I missed out on my cave experience I was greedy. I was offered the keys to a friend’s beach house and after two months of living outside, I couldn’t refuse. I went and enjoyed some luxuries, and got comfortable until I was charged to hit the road again a few days later. But once I was driving South, my phone drowned, I lost my way to navigate the winding mountain roads, and the journey was put on hold.

When my new phone arrived, the cave called me again. I was going! But four days of continuous rain destroyed my mood and by the time the sky cleared, I had made other travel plans. I forgot where I wanted to go, until the cave crossed my mind again, last week.

About last week

The previous week I kept trying to go on the journey I longed for. First, I hurt my back and wasn’t able to move for a few days. On the second attempt, I visited other places and ended up in the area. However, by the time I realized I was close, I had to go back to walk and feed my dog who I had forgotten at home. Yesterday was my third attempt, but when the weather forecast showed heavy rain and thunderstorms I had to again let go of the plan.

My final attempt happened earlier today. I was finally going! I believed. I prepared my van with food and water, as well as swimsuits and hiking boots. I took Persa, my camera, and there were no clouds in the sky to ruin my day. I used my new phone to play my favorite music and put my navigation. 

However, today my car refused to start. Turns out my battery died, even though it was working this morning. Again no cave. Instead, a mechanic and a vet because my dog got sick.

Will I ever go to see this cave?

I still hope so. However, I am slightly superstitious and believe I should stop trying to keep myself, my dog, and my van healthy. Or maybe once I lower my expectations of this cave experience the universe will finally allow me to go?

Either way, I am pretty frustrated right now. I learned to let go of plans, live in the moment, and see where I go hour by hour. I accepted that nothing will ever go the way I want it to. But can’t I at least get to the cave? 

Well, I lost a day trying to fix things and will pick a different destination for tomorrow. Next week, I will have to fly back to Rotterdam for a few days to arrange some things in my old apartment. Let’s hope at least this journey will go smoothly. And let’s try this cave again when I get back!

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