I vividly remember the first time I was invited to a traditional Greek wedding. It was a day full of cultural shocks and confusion. From gunshots to throwing rice and from writing my name on the bottom of the bride’s shoe to countless traditional Greek dances. A Greek wedding is full of rituals, religious as well as cultural. Although I enjoyed many of them since the first wedding, there were so many in one day that I remember the whole event as overwhelming.

Today, however, after visiting countless of these weddings, I want to explain the Greek traditional wedding, through the eyes of a foreigner. What to expect on a wedding day in Greece? Here is all you need to know!

How do you know you’re invited to a traditional Greek wedding?

Not all Greek weddings are full of culture and centuries-old rituals. More and more often, couples in Greece decide to go for a civil (non-church) wedding and celebrate their union in their own way. I have been to beautiful beach weddings, for example, which were much more personal and intimate than the traditional wedding I am about to describe. However, there is still a large amount of Greeks who do want a church wedding, including all Greek wedding customs. The chance of tradition is around 50 percent today, but how do you know which half you are going to participate in?

The easiest way to figure this out is to ask. If the bride and groom are friends of you (or your partner), simply ask. However, if you are not close to the soon-to-be married couple, this might be the first indication that you’re up for tradition. Here are some signs of traditional Greek weddings:

The signs of tradition

• The amount of guests. Traditional Greek weddings are big, parents often have a say in who to invite and many times the rule is that whoever invited them to a wedding, they have to invite as well. When you and your partner don’t know the couple very well but are invited, you’re up for the real Greek wedding. To give an example, last weekend I was at a traditional Greek wedding. 600 guests, of which I didn’t know anyone, and neither did my partner. We were there because the father of the groom was a friend of my partner’s parents. They couldn’t come, so we were there to represent the family. Only this knowledge made it clear to me that we were up for some real Greek traditions!
• A beautifully designed wedding invitation. This is tradition number one when it comes to weddings, the invite has to look beautiful and even match the theme of the wedding. If you doubt what to wear for the event, it is always a good idea to mix the color of the invitation with your attire!
• The wedding starts at a church and continues at a party venue. When there are two locations on the invitation, especially with the involvement of a church, you can be pretty sure it’s going to be traditional.

How to prepare for a traditional Greek wedding?

The wedding attire

A traditional Greek wedding, to me, is like a show. All the rituals are part of the script. But it doesn’t stop there. All wedding guests, including you, are going to be on display as well. In Greece, it is customary to dress up for weddings (really dress up), especially for the church ceremony. Men are supposed to wear a suit, although the jacket can be left at home for less important guests during a summer wedding. Greek men often trim their beards and cut their hair before to look their best. Women visit a hairdresser as well and will wear a lot of make-up. Heels and a long (silky) dress are part of the most common female wedding attire. 

I remember that for my first wedding, I really tried to fit into the Greek wedding picture. As a result, however, I felt extremely awkward the entire day. My heels were too high, my dress too tight to move in, and with a thick layer of make-up, I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I am not at all a fan of dressing up. Me trying to be “Greek” was actually a mistake. Rule number one must be that you’re comfortable and confident in what you wear. If you’re not the person to wear heels or a suit, dress up your own way! If you love dressing up though, this is your chance! However, when you do choose to wear heels, always bring some flats for the end of the party.

Arranging accommodation

Chances are you have to arrange accommodation to be able to attend the wedding you’re invited to. If you or your partner are close to the bride and/or groom you’ll probably have to be around at least a day before the actual ceremony. I remember weddings for which the pre-wedding party was more fun than the wedding day.

Traditionally, the celebration before the wedding takes place a couple days before the wedding. It used to be the moment that the couple’s bed was made. However, with many best friends having to come from far away, nowadays it is more of a time to catch up with each other and have fun before the actual wedding day.

If you’re up for staying throughout the whole wedding, it might also be a good idea to stay at least one more day after the wedding. What basically happens at a traditional Greek wedding is that it takes until 1 or 2 AM to finish with “the show”, the traditions. After this time, most guests have left, and only close friends remain. This is when the real party starts. I have never been able to check out of my hotel at 10 or 11 AM (usual check-out in Greece) and always book an extra day. This is also a great excuse to have some time to explore the area.

The wedding day

The wedding might start really early

In Greek weddings, it is customary that the bride and groom spend their time until the ceremony apart from each other. They prepare for what’s to come in different houses, accompanied by close friends and family. If you are a close friend of the couple, chances are you are expected in one of their houses early on the wedding day.

This is when tradition starts. The bride writes the names of all her single (read: non-married) friends at the bottom of her shoe to determine who is next to be married. The men shave the groom. And both of them are getting dressed by friends and family.

Although these hours before the wedding are full of rituals, often closely followed by the photographer, it is not just about tradition. Usually, the mothers prepare a delicious brunch while champagne and other drinks are abundant. It is basically another pre-wedding celebration with the people closest to the couple.

Going to the church

At every Greek wedding, going to the church is a moment of celebration. Now let’s start with what happens on the groom’s side since he has to arrive first and wait in front of the church for his bride to make her entrance.

When the church is far away, the groom travels with his close friends and family by car. All cars are decorated with white ribbons, and everyone will honk their horn continuously on the way. When the groom lives closer to the church, however, the journey might be a bigger event. Traditionally, a band will form the start of a parade towards the church. The groom and his best friends follow, dancing on the street. The closer they get to the church, the more wedding guests will join. The parade often ends up with a crowd dancing and singing on the street in front of the church. Until the bride is about to come. Eventually, the groom takes his place in front of the entrance to await her.

The bride comes to the wedding venue by car. She, her closest relatives, and her kumpara (the maid of honor) are to arrive late in a beautifully decorated car. Often, this car will honk loudly upon approaching the church and might even do some extra circles. Just to make sure everyone is ready to witness the moment she arrives. When she does, all the guests clap loudly. The bride is brought to the groom by her father. Afterward, the couple enters the church. Finally, the traditional Greek wedding is ready to begin.

The church ceremony

The church ceremony takes 30 to 60 minutes, depending on the priest, and his schedule. I once attended a wedding in which the bride was late while the priest had a busy schedule. He was in such a rush that he finished the entire ceremony in less than 20 minutes. On the other hand, I have been to weddings that seemed endless and took over an hour!

That said, don’t expect to understand anything of the ceremony. Religious Greek (spoken by the priests) is an old language that is impossible to follow, even for the locals. Many Greeks choose to stay outside and catch up with old friends during the ceremony. However, there are a couple of moments in this religious show with a meaning that goes beyond language. Here is an overview of the most important ones:

The Stephana

The central and most symbolic part of the Greek Orthodox wedding is the crowning. The priest places wedding crowns or “stefana” on the heads of the bride and groom, joined together by a white ribbon. The crowns are often ornate and signify the couple’s status as king and queen of their new family. The koumparos and koumpara (the best man and the maid of honor) exchange these crowns (as well as the wedding rings) three times between the bride and groom, as a symbol of their union.

The Common Cup

The bride and groom share wine from a common cup, signifying the sharing of their joys and sorrows as they enter into their life together.

The Sacrament of Marriage

The priest leads the couple in taking their vows, which involve promises to love, honor, and be faithful to each other. The couple circles the altar three times while holding hands, symbolizing their first steps together in the presence of God.

In every church ceremony, somewhere between the wine and the circles around the altar, there is a point where suddenly all guests start laughing. What happens here?

One of the vows spoken by the priest says something that translates into: The woman shall fear her husband. What he means is respect. However, with the difference between new and old Greek, this vow sounds like something the bride should not agree to. At this moment, many of the brides step on the foot of their soon-to-be husband. Tradition says that when she does, she will have the upper hand in the marriage.

The couple comes out of the church

Even before the ceremony is finished, you can see people coming outside in a rush. Time for the next tradition! All guests are supposed to get a bit of rice, often handed out in small pouches. When the church ceremony ends, everyone lines up in a big half-circle in front of the entrance. When the newlyweds make their debut, everyone throws their rice at them. 

Why rice? Rice is a seed that stands for fertility and is the root of a long, happy, and healthy life together. By throwing rice at the couple, you grant them this wish. Often, the groom’s friends take this ritual slightly too far and wait for him with kilos of rice. 

The change of venues

The party doesn’t start immediately after the church ceremony (and the real party will not begin for hours!). After the church ceremony, it is time to have a coffee, relax, catch up with old friends, or change into a party outfit. For me, this is usually the point that I go home to walk my dog, so she will be fine staying alone the rest of the night.

The couple takes this time to relax as well. They leave with a photographer to take wedding pictures and often enjoy an intimate dinner together with the best man and maid of honor.

How do you know when it is time to head to the party? Ask other guests what time they are planning to move to the party venue. It is also possible to stay at a coffee place close by, which will be full of wedding guests. For the average wedding, you should be there around 7 to 7.30 PM.

When you eventually arrive at the party venue, things will be very laid-back, as the couple will not be there yet. Find the table that is arranged for you and socialize with the other guests. Drinks are served, and if the couple takes time to eat together, food will come as well. Expect a lot of food. There will be cocktails after dinner, so don’t go full in on the wines and beers during the first hours.

The newlyweds’ entrance

Just before the food is served (or during the main course when the couple ate elsewhere), the newlyweds will enter. Everyone stands up and claps. There will be fireworks and sometimes even gunshots. The couple has their first dance and shares champagne. In many weddings, this moment turns into a little party before dinner, and people are asked to join them on the dancefloor. 

However, stay seated until many others enter the dancefloor. There is again a ritual here. First, the couple dances together, then their best man and maid of honor join, and later parents and close friends. 

Now we eat!

Relax, eat, and talk. The bigger the wedding, the more insane the amount of food. Don’t go all in on the starters because there will be coming plate after plate. During the time the wedding guests enjoy the main course of dinner, the couple goes around all the tables to talk to their guests. This is the opportunity to congratulate them on their wedding. In Greek, they say: Na zisete! Translated, this means may you live!. A wish that implies a happy and healthy life together. 

Desert will not be served until another ritual is completed. The cutting of the cake. At the end of the guests’ main course, when the couple has been around all the tables, they will cut the wedding cake together. They feed each other as well as their koumparos and koumpara. Afterward, dessert is served. Dessert at a wedding is rarely a piece of the actual cake. I have no clue what happens with all this cake. If you know, please leave a comment below!

Traditional Greek music

After dessert is served, the traditional Greek dancing starts. It is a line dance where participants hold hands and move in a circle, following a set pattern of steps. Often, the married couple and their close friends and relatives start. But soon, guests of all ages, from the youngest to the oldest, participate in the festivities, creating an atmosphere of communal celebration. Each song has different footwork. Some dances are easy to learn, and others are extremely complicated. As a foreigner, it is best to enjoy the show until the circle of dancers barely fits the dancefloor. When a lot of guests join the dance circle, (usually) the dance is simple. So go up and try this Greek wedding tradition!

There will be also a dance that needs some more explanation. The Zeibekiko. This is a solo dance often performed by the groom, his best man, or the father of him or his wife. It is characterized by improvised and free-form movements and is usually danced with a slow or moderate tempo. The dancer expresses emotion and individuality through their movements. During this dance, the other guests (as well as the bride) are supposed to kneel down in a circle and clap. This is his moment.

The start of the dancing and the end of the dessert also marks the time the cocktail bar opens. Get your favorite drink, enjoy the final part of Greek tradition, and get ready for the party!

The party starts!

One of the characteristics of Greek traditional weddings is the huge amount of guests. Many of those are not close to the couple but to the parents instead. When most aunts, neighbors, and other acquaintances of the parents leave the wedding, the real party starts. The music switches from traditional Greek wedding music to whatever the couple likes. Friends get on the dancefloor and have fun. This party can continue till early in the morning.

What about the plates?

The most stereotypical picture of a Greek wedding is breaking plates. However, in most weddings, you don’t have to be afraid of shards flying around. Plate breaking was a big thing in Greece in the ’60s and ’70s. Today, it belongs more to the stereotype of Greek culture than actual tradition. 

Out of the 25 weddings I have attended, only one involved yiayia (grandma) getting rid of her tableware. And the result? My ankles were bleeding from the shards. I am thankful this tradition is not as common as it used to be.

Regional traditions

Many of the Greek islands or mountain villages have their own distinct wedding traditions and rituals. Although the wedding I have described above covers the base of a traditional Greek wedding, there are areas in Greece that have additional rituals or special traditions. Regional traditions may include local instruments and music, throwing flowers instead of just rice, or breaking plates.